In the midst of conflicts, many people get caught in their own thoughts and beliefs, believing them to be TRUE.

Here’s a simple 4-steps method I find useful to put our beliefs to the test:

THINK IN DEPTH OF A STRESSFUL SITUATION

Think of a stressful situation involving diverging interests or disagreement.  Immerse yourself for a moment in that situation. Don’t try being reflected, distant, positive or even rational.

• In this situation, who makes you angry, confused or disappointed. Why? (XYZ doesn’t listen to me)
• How do you want the other to behave or change?
• Which advice would you give? What should or shouldn’t that person do?
• What do you need – more precisely, what should the other do to make you happy?
• How would you describe that person?
• What in this situation is it that you never ever want to experience again?

So now you have thoroughly judged this person. Don’t forget to note down your thoughts as answers to these...